Now I know how those athletes feel.



Training their asses off for 4 gruelling years.
Preparing themselves; physically, mentally, emotionally


All just for that
One Event.



And Then.
when that One Event arrives



It's over in a split second
and you wish it never came.

you wish you were still practicing scales 2 hours ago
you wish you hadn't entered
hadn't said good morning sir
hadn't played G contrary instead of chromatic
hadn't broke down





I'm tired.
Weary. I
guess all I wanted
was for it to over


The past weekend.
trust God and he will help you
Isn't that a condition?
No it isn't
what if its a pre-set notion in my mind -
a self-imposed thing

we will support you all the way
but it's antagonising me do you not realise?
3 studio bookings x $20
Throwing it all away
just for 25 minutes

The accompanied condemnation. perhaps it just isn't worth it.


so you had a test but you never told me about it?

Motives.
Ulterior.
Or inherent.

I don't know.




She has started on antibiotics
Hi Mum my piano lesson's at 2pm.

dis
joint
ed fragments
I ponder over




w