Trick or Tranny?

penixxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx! :)


Okay I've to admit that I always thought halloween was a blah festival celebrated in the Western parts of the world as a sad excuse for kids to dress up in their fancy costumes and impersonate random characters to empower themselves or something.

So when I heard Yaanay (the beloved OG which has STILL fought against all odds and is still gonig strong!!!) was going TOTing at Woodlands, i thought what-.- but the mere
but when i first heard of Woodlands i was like...WHAT??!! you mean the like ulu place near JB with lots of HDBs. So we're going to like knock on random doors and go Trick Or Treat?! I mean the poor ahmas/ah gongs will kena heart attack and just die lah. i didnt even think it was like legal in singapore. like maybe you'll be arrested for... disturbing the peace of the quiet neighbourhood of woodlands....or striking terror into the citizens' hearts or something.

anyway, met kris and vivian at hollandv to buy our halloween get-up from the party shop there butOMG it was freaking ex! like the cheapest was 10 bucks for a flimsy plastic mask! losers like us got sent off to the neighbouring mama shop which was basically budgethalloween 101. kris got some clown hair shit, gab the scream mask,and i got this Pirate Package thingy which was quite awesome okay it had some cool vest + sword + eyepatch + hook + flag + hatthingy for only ten bucks :D

only to reach home and realize i can't fit into the fetus-seized vest. like the arm holes are the size of tennis balls!!! and its not like I have monique coleman's arms (Sherrie: HEHEHE) anyway rushed down to Woodlands to meet the rest of the Penix gang.

then while taking the bus to Bishan I realised ppl were staring at me for some strange reason but I thought, screw them. to my great horror and embarrassment, when I sat down, I realised the handle of my sword was sticking out like some sore thumb.. like I wanted to whip it out any moment and brandish its aluminium blade in someone's face ahhhhh.

But nvm the rest of the Penix gang was relatively noob at all this so we all looked just like freaks with bad fashion sense rather than trick o'treating scary freaks.

Gabriel looked the most 'halloweenish' in his The scream mask, Jon was just the joke of the night with adela's IJ uniform, Enna was a clown/witch, Adela was a... um, jogging monster? Kris was a kickass militant, Joel was the invisible man/skunk (being all black and wearing black), and vivian was a.. err, suspended nerd?(lol sounds like a oxymoron)

okay then we proceeded to further embarass ourselves by - surprise - taking the bus in the WRONG DIRECTION from the interchange(it was loop service but we sat in it for like 45 minutes instead what was supposed to be just '5 stops away')

In the process of which me kris viv were playing ssm and jon and gab were playing around with my pseudo sword. and omg i was almost going hysterical cos yen was like everyone's leaving and there are no sweets left etc. anyway the uncle was all like.. 15 mins .. reaching soon.. and LO AND BEHOLD after like ages ended up at where?? THE INTERCHANGE AGAIN!!! yes and this time we were at the correct side. so we continued on the bus while people got on (this is where we were supposed to get on) for another 5 painfully slow stops.

upon arrival we whipped out our costumes and transformed ourselves.
I took out my red bandana and clawww
kris put on her army cap
viv her glasses
gabe his mask (which made him look better)
enna her clown hair :D
joel his skunk hoodie
adela her red cheesy sunglasses,neon headband, sweatbands and high socks (i still have no idea how a midnight jogger who is afraid of the glaring moonlight is supposed to be spooky)
and...
jon looked at the pinafore as though it was his mother's used underwear..looking thoroughly lost and confused at what went where. anyway it (surprisingly..or not) seemed to be made for him (like omg he was even a guai kia IJ-ian. pls it went up to his KNEES! and its seams didnt burst GASP)

then i rmb i had a sword...
so i casually asked the idiots where it was
AND HAH.
They had the CHEEK to laugh and tell me they left it on the damn bus!!!!!!!
MY (well almost) TEN DOLLAR SWORDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!
still rub it in somemore ):

so we walked around the entire Woodlands Celebrates Halloween estate going up to 'em kickass ang mo houses with 'em kickass spooky decorations and collecting kickass candy (omg sounds like fiona's blog) from badass ang mo kids with their badass parents beside them.

yayyyyy we had cool US candy. not that I really cared
omg pls dont call me a devil child but...
I seriously DO NOT like candies (esp those hard ball-like ones omg ew)
but i like gummies (NON SOUR ONLY) and um generally things chewy like CHOCOLATE:D

anyway i'm pissed that no one cared about us despite our pains to dress up...COS in the end because SOME ONE just had to steal all the limelight with a costume..no a uniform he didnt even have to buy!!!! the bobo jon was the star of the night. the princess of the palace. the cinderella of the ball. like omg everyone loved him! the ang mo uncle was like totally flirting with him and calling him sweetie, the ang mo auntie was saying he was the prettiest girl she'd ever seen and like 2 random groups of giggly teenage girls requested to take photo with him. oh...and this row of um... ma- malay dudes yes were sitting along the roadside whistling and calling him sexaye. hahaha seeing in which he received all this attention (which, strangely enough he never did as a GUY) we decided to exploit it by making him go ahead of us to collect the sweets...

MEMOIRS OF A TRANNY:

I am so lonely... someone pick me up and send me to Orchard tower..at least I get paid there

eh poledancing pose doesnt seem to work..maybe i'll do a marilyn monroe.. ah forget it lah JUST FLASH

gasp adela the hardcore jogger upskirting the dainty IJ girl who (thankfully) is wearing very manly black pants...

gab: i....need.... more.... white powder..
jon: noooo! i will neverrrr desert my darling even though you shiver and vibrate and hallucinate. let me sit here and look pretty with my flower and scarf...

Pirate nerd, freak jogger and her pet Ice Bat

Freak jogger, suspended bobble head nerd with pet Ice Bat and wannabe jack sparrow

FUN TIMES Y'ALL :)

THEY HAVE COME HERE TO STAY.

It all started with one chair.


I bought my teh ping after AC games and was ready to plomp myself into a nice reclining canteen chair when OH NO I realised that there was a dark red puddle of ribena spilled on the blue chair! HAH due to my quick catlike reflexes I manage to pull myself up just in time... but then there was just one thing.. the puddle didn't quite look like a puddle... and so I did the only intellectual thing an intellectual person would do... I touched it :D and omg I realised it was a freaking sticker!

and that began my Evil e nightmares.


The slow walk back from the canteen to the void deck never seemed to end. They appeared everywhere, haunting me from every corner. Big ones, small ones, ON EVERY DARN STICKABLE SURFACE! Tables, chairs, walls, ceilings, floor everywhereeeeee! I decided I needed to hurry to get back to my AC games station and glanced at that familiar clock outside the Dr Yong Tau Fu stall. and to my utmost horror... ANOTHER EVIL RED e greeted me at 11 o'clock.

Then a thought ran across my mind...wasn't this the sticker that the other councillors were talking about? They were talking about the appearance of red stickers all over the canteen and wanted to tell the teachers about it. Yeah..maybe that was it. Maybe it was just like some random bunch of people.. like some PW group doing on the journey of Stickers and got a LITTLE too carried away with their publicity.. cries of OMG WE SHOULD TOTALLY COMPLAIN TO THE TEACHERS MAN! THIS WAS ILLEGAL! arose amougst the council.

or MAYBE!!. since Stand Up AC was going to happen the following week, it was one of our publicity thingys. since it was red afterall. and it had such an evil little smirk. maybe it was suppsoed to like represent poverty and the stickers were meant to show its widespreadness...but then Becky would've told me since I was in the Ops Team doing logistics...right?



As it turns out.. some of the councillors told the teachers and GUESS WHAT. The teachers were like, oh we put it up! And they said the reason behind it was to be revealed in DUE TIME. -.-''' Cheh. And the only possible school-initiated thing I could think of at that time was promos results. but like WHY would they like..put up scary stickers to remind us of its impending implications...


But then I thought like, fine, you never know with ac.. it'll probably be revealed that some new stall selling like evil red jelly was coming to our school.. not worth thinking about.

anyway, I had things to do and people to see outside its compound. BUT NO! while I was sitting on the double-deckered 74 going back one day, WHAT SHOULD I SEE ON THE KAP BUS STOP (or some bus stop along that stretch) BUT A CLUSTER OF RED es!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I couldn't believe my eyes. I thought, whoa this is pretty awesome. Maybe AC's like coming up with this cool AC christmas party and is inviting all its neighbours to join in the fun! but then as I continued sitting on the bus. And it continued going towards Thomson Road, I saw more and more Es in different shapes and sizes forming different patterns ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I thought I was going to lose my mind so I decided to check with other sources.. okay but I wasn't losing my mind after all- Paul, Deb, Yeehwee and Tiff all declared they saw the es everywhere in random bus stops!!! we then declared it was a conspiracy between the Singapore government and principals of singapore schools (IF YOU HAVE SPOTTED THESE ALIENS IN YOUR SCHOOL PLEASE COMMENT/TAG!)

Some possible explanations:

"It's a spoof on Microsoft Internet Explorer!" - Deborah Yan, 17.
This may well be true considering the e is about the same font and design as the microsoft e. but like why would they do that?! unless its some like moral movement to get kids off the internet and to yknow have better social skills etcetc.

Others claim it's an alien invasion and
"we hope it comes before OP and leaves before our Vietnam trip!" - Tiffany Tay, 17.



I considered it to be a new channel like that random okto thing, but then why would schools even agree to help them publicise. so it has to be some MOE-initiated thang. Towards youths probably. ARHHHHHHHHHH.



I decided to go home to google it.

Ah, home! where red es will never haunt me :)




"R-e-d e s-i-n-g-a-p-o-r-e"

I typed.
AND OMG THE MOMENT I CLICKED ENTER.


speak of the devil, MR EVIL E appears maliciously next to my words!!!!!!!!!!
A close up view of this truly strange phenomenon:

ARGH okay nvm why was I wasting my time on this when I should be studying Chinese right!!! (okay this was like way before 30/10 so I'm not like a mega paranoid freak studying for next year)

SO I TAKE OUT MY H1 ACJC HUA WEN WORKBOOK, all ready and geared up to dive into the rede-less world of CHINESE! whee!

but GASP!!!!! GUESS WHO'S DOWN THERE AT THE BOTTOM RIGHT HAND CORNER OF MY BOOK!!!!!!

OKAY THAT WAS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so he won't even let me study Chinese in peace! some moral messanger you are Mr Red E! I decided I was probably hallucinating due to the lack of sleep. . it must be late.. let me check the time..


IT TURNS OUT HE EVEN HAS A SHADOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Okay that's it. I must REALLY be getting delirious. Time for Bed! Gosh but it's so early. I need some good bed time reading material to get me into sweet slumber...

LIKE THIS!:)
omg now i'm really freaked out.

Maybe a brushing Troola Roola's hair a stroke or two would calm my spirits.

I was about to begin my therapeutic session of hair-brushing my My Little Pony when..



AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Okay they must really be telling me something. Maybe I need to like, repent of some henious crime I commited some time ago without realising. Gosh maybe I accidentally killed some beetle and it turned out to be Mr Deity Beetle of Dungland or something... I decided to take out the one book that would repel all evil Es for good...

I need help.

I found this phone on the floor.

The day was
was

silent


The day
day was

locked

The
The day was

fullstop.


I HAVE LOST MY PHONE.


Tuesday was a very, very bobo day (THIS WORD WAS OFFICIALLY COINED BY YOURS TRULY IN 2007MARCH, so all ye plagiarists find a substitute!!! I have found it highly disturbing that certain of my classmates namely paul and tiff have taken a liking to it and have sacrilegiously started using it flippantly, tsktsk)

ANYWAY
The deadly combination of Chinese and PW had robbed me of the mental capacity to NOTICE the droppage of items on the floor, the fatal inability of which caused the demise of dearest Phoney and Pinky (not a very nice nor original name to give your phone and phoneclothes respectively..but)

So there I was crossing not the vast red sea but the 5m from the ceremonial staircase to the carpark right outside. and then i tried caling Choong from the HOD room to hand up bleeding I&R (which I caused me a disproportionate amount of distress) but i couldnt get her. so I passed it to some other teacher. and then estelle (bunbun) came and tried to braid my hair unsuccessfully. and mum was bugging me to go to the car so I had one hand on the phone, the other on mylaptop bag.


So i continued talking on Phoney till about 3m to the car. And then I did something with it that i cant quite rmb - put it in my pocket or hand or whatever. but whatever it was, it never left the school...

(violin plays softly in the background as camera zooms in on the desolate, left behind Pinky & his contents, lying forlornly on the ground)

Dinner was wrought. with many other things.
but losing PHONEY nearly made me lose my mind. especially since it was switched off!!!!!!! and especially because I was particularly upset that I could possess such RETARDNESS so as to NOT NOTICE when my hp drops on the floor while transversing long distances of 3meters.

anyway after practically diving under the car carpet three times and tirelessly emptying my obviously empty bagpack, i finally came to terms with the fact that it was really lost lost and not lying under my pile of chinese notes (as it was last time).

The G.O staff probably recognises me by now. I've been repeatedly making trips there every half hour to check if it had made its presence known.

THEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ON THURSDAY MUM RECEIVES AN SMS SAYING:

"I found this phone on the floor."

FROM MY NUMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The world is suddenly full of daisies ponies bunnies and elves frolicking in the meadows and holding tea parties at moonlight.

Mum spams my phone with msgs with a detailed plan on WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU FIND MY DAUGHTER'S PHONE including words such as 'daughter' '1AH' 'please return' 'thank you'.

I call but to no avail.

A tiny part of me wants to believe that humanity (especially those in AC) has a conscience after all and hence the lack of battery and the very unfortunate inability of dear Phoney to charge using a conventional Samsung charger (it needs to be connected to a com via USB to charge for some very very odd reason) probably resulted in such.


However, as the days wear on,
I ONLY HAVE ONE THING TO SAY NOW:

"I found this phone on the floor." RETURN IT NOW DAMNIT says:
argh stupid retard who has my phone. may your brain shrink to walnut size due to the radiation

YOU MAY SAY:
♥jonskies ; boomdiyada says:
HAHA gosh such a spiteful person



INDEED TRUE IT MAY BE SO.
But what disturbs me so about the phrase is the FULLSTOP!
YES.
it means.
that it wasn't a

"omg-i-must-return-this-phone-to-the-owner-let me type a msg to her mother OMG it died on me just as i wrote floor and hence i could not write the fullstop" kind of msg

rather, it was a

"hah-let-thy-mock-thee-mother-with-my-ambiguous-statement and test the waters to see if this phone is worth stealing" message

because of the itsy presense of the darn fullstop!!!!!!!!!

it's too perfect to be unintentional.
It just means that. Whilst the person could
have a million other ways to have contacted me (eg. use the 2 seconds of battery life to scroll the phone book, take down Mum's or Dad's or RandomFriend's number and actually have a 110%better chance of returning it to me, or even sms something like 'call me at xxxxxxxx i have your phone')

BUT THAT LITTLE SCHEMING BOBO DID NOT! ): AND WHO KNOWS WHAT THINGAMINGYS HE (or SHE for that matter. oh i just realised how sexist i sounded throughout the entry:/ but it was out of convenience la) MIGHT DO!!!! LIKE READ MY SECRET MSGS!!!! OR SPAM RANDOM PEOPLE WITH RANDOM MSGS LIKE I LURBXXX EUUUUUZZZ WORHzXZ which would mark the end of my existence!!!! OR LIKE...LIKE...SEE MY SECRET PHOTOS!! AND VIDEOS!!!!! I DONT WANNA BE ANOTHER TAMMY OF NYP!!lol. jkjk.)



Anyway to all caring souls out there who have been bugging me to deactivate my line or whatever not, I AM WAITING TILL MONDAY!

Hopefully on Sunday Mr Fullstop goes to church and gets some sort of moral conviction and repents of his action (PLEASE GOD!!! PRICK HIS CONSCIENCE NO END!). alternatively, if he's a Hindu hopefully Deepavali will convict him of his misdoings as the LIGHT illuminates him (um....or something like that)



And much humiliation and inconvenience has ensued as aresult of Phoney's demise.

Beginning with..........

THE SLIM
okay so today i went to school for chinese remedial thinking, well, fourth day as a cavewoman. Not bad at all, shall show all 'em newspaper articles about youths dying without their hps! I was coping just fine.




BUT NO.
it was not to be.

lao shi said it would be in 6.13 last night, so i decided to just head there. but there was a class there. which made me run aroudn the whole school like a lost camel looking for an oasis (omg poor analogy sorry). i was so desperate i decided to mope around the lobby and wait for people i know to arrive. but how if everyone was there already? suddenly at he corner of my eye appears SLIM.

i know. you DO NOT ask MR.SEC trivial things like that.

but I did anyway.
and he gave me a few dubious glances before calling laoshi.

" NI DE XUE SHENG ZAI WEN NI ZAI NA LI" omg embarrasimus maximus ):


anyway this is going to be a mini tribute to laoshi, MRS LIM SWEE CHAY!

She is about the mostest awesomest (I hereby surrender all forms of grammatical accuracy in the name of my great love for her) chinese teacher that i ever had.

From staying back in school everyday til 7 for remedial,
to coming back today,
to spending tue-wed accompanying us all the way up to THE DAY

WE LOVE YOU LAO SHI!
























Coming up......


HSM3
PW
DAD'S SECRET RETREAT
& THE EVIL Es!

DANABANANA'S 17

happy birthday day the may! :)

Everytime I think of PL, I have no choice but to think of YOU, because you stalked me for FOUR WHOLE YEARS :) Lol jk but I'm really really thankful for seeing me through those years it really means a lot to me. Rmb the whole RT scandal in sec1 and then the Against Animal Abuse Association (A^4) in 2b1 and then just the six of us in 4a3 & 4a4 :)


We wanted to surprise her on Sunday evening at her house but NOOOOOO some bobo (lol it was either me or ren) accidently sent her the mass sms that was supposed to be seen by only the 5 of us. Lol anyway we called her house just to confirm she was home ..
Grandpoppy: HELLO?
me: Hi is Dayna home?
Grandpoppy: Ya..hold on ah.. DAYNA AH!!!
me: -shitshitshit-noooooooooo uncle...! (slams down phone)

yes so i must apologise for hanging up on Poor Chef Grandad of dayna.
and it wasnt much of a surprise anwyay cos when we got there a whole fleet of animals came charging out at us when we opened the gate. okay, namely a hyper 70 year old jack russel Spike, a overly affectionate smelly golden retrevier Jag and a freaky bobo cat Luckster which all came pouring out into the street mcuch to the horror of all of us (whilst dayna peeked from above but pretended to be surprised when we came up)

OKAY HERE IS A GREATLY CONDENSED VERSION OF THE PHOTOS WE (DIRECTED BY WHO ELSE BUT CAPTAIN CAMWHORE AMANDALNEO ) TOOK ON SUNDAY :)

At Day's house:


at serangoon central (AKA WORKERS DORM TO BE AREA)
where we saw SNOWBALL THE cutie

Dinner at Cartel's ! Note: this was post AC games so i looked like some Cambodian kid

AT FROLICKKKKKKKKKKKKKK :) where we annoyed everyone and took pics for like 15 minutes




LOVE YOU GUYS :)

ps. DIONNE I HOPE YOUR FOOD POISONING'S BETTER :)

ONE BREAST,TWO NUTS!

Please do not be appalled by my (rather) provocative title. That just has to be the first thing to appear as a proper update update... not another vague ambiguous erring on the emo side post...(the kind I actually hate to see on other people's blogs. Lol I am such a hypocrite). BUT THIS POST IS ACTUALLY GOING TO BE A VERY CANDID ACCOUNT OF VARIOUS.. Um, Happenings.

First up!

Mum's 3 PURITY TALKS!


Purity Talk #01: FBTs = Fatal/Female Body Temptation

How about I've been wearing FBTs at home since Sec3 when I chanced upon them and Ugly School Shorts found themselves left chucked at some corner of my closet, and suddenly The Mother comes around and tells me I am NOT to wear FBTs EVEN at home. I KNOW RIGHT - LIKE WTH, Now I've been reduced to the ranks of Lot's daughters. Nice. and i'm not stopping there. Below Thy Father in my list of ToBeSeduced comes Fred and Albert (Please don't ask why they have such strange names) from the construction site down the road.

This was due to the very unfortunate oversight of me walking to piano lesson (which is just a mere downthehill-turnright-crosstheroad distance away) in my LARGE size FootBallThailands (very thoughtfully chosen over the also wearable M & S sizes because of its relative shortslength:leglength decency; albeit garnering more criticism for it being too 'flare-y' when the wind blows)

Perhaps it was the exceptionally big Seres shirt i wore, making even the large boxy straightcuts appear minuscule. Either way, The Mother was convinced that I had one sole purpose in doing so = TO TEMPT THE LEAGUE OF LEARY CONSTRUCTION WORKERS along the dusty road to Piano Lesson with my svelte legs.

Hence she sat me down in some random coffee shop (where I was deceived into thinking we were going for a leisurely tea) and promptly crowned herself Guru Of The Shorts, one who had the honour of analyzing the shorts length of unsuspecting passers-by in the little neighbourhood of Ang Mo Kio Ave 3.

But MUMMMMMMMM! It's out of convenience! it's not like I purposely go out to tempt and entice the (miserable and undeserving) male species.


....


I know it may be unintentional..but when you see someone like that walking around, what kind of values does she reflect? Pure or impure?


BAH -.-''

And I was henceforth launched into a two-hour long analyzing-debate about the issue and about 90% of the passers-by failed the test. (and out of the 10% that did, about 98.9999% had legs that didn't even deserve to be shown off so...technically only 1.1111% passed the real test)


To cut the long story short, we finally compromised on the very agreeable statement of 'I will seek God on this matter and tell you in a weeks' time' (It works everytime) after outrageous suggestions along the likes of confiscating all my FBTs and making me wear sole-long jumpers 24/7.


Purity Talk #02: I listen to Demonic Songs.

When Mum was away in HK and BEFORE I got my sympathy ipod, I, being all pissed with that little chewinggumsized silver blob called the Shuffle (which cost me endless MRT rides browsing through about 200+ songs to find Gotta Go My Own Way...and 200 songs is still damn little!) decided to borrow The Mother's ipod Video. So I synced all my songs into this neat little playlist very appropriately labelled Joyce's Songs, Far Far Away and Cordoned off from the rest of the sacred world of Hymns and Don Moens. Such that when she came back I kinda was half-lazy and assumed-she-would-be-too-technolame-anyway-to-figure-out-that-I-synced-about-800-songs-tin ish, so I didn't delete the songs.

However, ONE FINE AFTERNOON, She said (in that forebodingly saccharine voice of hers: Joyce! Come, sit here I want to talk to you about something. INSTANT FREEZE, DOOM HANGS OVER LIKE A SHADOW, AND MY LIFE IS OVER are about 3 very apt phrases to decribe my feelings)

...Oh oh nooo ,dont' think that it's a bad thing that I discovered all your (demonic) songs! Think of it as a good thing rather, that the Holy Spirit prompted me to such a great discovery(teehee Tiff gets tickled everytime I say this)

She proclaims in triumphant declaration (Trumpet fanfare in the background)


And Mind You, the thing is she's never listened to any songs. However, based solely on their titles, she concluded the following: That I was listening to certain occult songs with titles like Vampire and Dead and bla sang by "funny bands... like what ah, Hell boy ah..The dark knights..." (which made me chuckle inwardly and make a mental note to self: get Mum The Dummies Guide to Differentiating Band Names and Currently Showing Movies for Christmas)

AND EVEN SONGS LIKE 'Dirty second hands' by Switchfoot was considered 'provocative' and 'dirty' (um mum a little help in Metaphors would do one good heheh)

But okay I should stop being an ungrateful bobo since I've got my Pity Pod (more on that later)

Purity Talk #03: I AM JADE SEAH

Whoohoooooooo. I am Jade Seah. Well, okay. As much as I'm honoured to be compared to the runner up for Ms Singapore, but in this context she ain't in a very enviable position. As most of you should know, Jade Unvulgar Seah greatly distressed the Singapore public by (apparently) muttering The Word whilst reporting LIVE for Olympics. and as you know, thy deprived Mother is convinced that as the sole 'youth' of the house (being under the age of 21 and generally malleable, rebellious and all things TEENAGER), yours truly is henceforth the Ambassador Of All Youths In Singapore.


AND SO SHE HAS DECIDED TO POUR ALL HER RANTS AND VENTS ABOUT "THE YOUNG NOWADAYS/YOUTHS IN SOCIETY BLABLA" (although JS is quite obviously above 21) ONTO WHO ELSE BUT THE UNSUSPECTING(sheesh, after 2 purity talks?NAH)... okay no, UNDESERVING ME!!

in my days ah, when i was your age, nobody knew what was masturbation... but nowadays ah, everyone speaks about masturbation so openly... tsktsktsk








Okay now on to more exciting things!
Such as.......



ONE BREAST,TWO NUTS!

(brace yourselves)






THIS POST'S TITLE WAS AN EXACT PHRASE UTTERED (YES, ! INCLUDED) BY THE GIVER OF THE PURITY TALKS!
HAH!

okay so basically Aunty Glory (my uber hip maid who doubles up as a traumatized victim of maid abuse in our PW) cooks some cashew nut chicken breast combination dish, but according to mum the chicken:cashew ratio is way too high. but NOOOOO, The Mother (quite unintentionally,ibelieve) has to use, um, rather equivocal terms.

" GLORY!!!! NEXT TIME PUT LESS BREAST AND MORE NUTS!!! OKAY?? HALF THE BREAST AND DOUBLE THE NUTS! ONE BREAST, TWO NUTS!!!"

HAHAHA.
I love my Mum :)
(although I don't always like her)


OF EXAMS.


First exam: PIANO.

Okay you guys are all going to kill me (especially those who gave me nice little condolences because I was about 75% sure I was going to either fail or get like something between 100-103)

So well because I was all emo and bobo about my piano and I kind of decided that well, considering my actions I really was undeserving of a pass, and I felt as though my punishment for NOT trusting God was that I was not going to be rewarded. You know,the whole "Without Faith it is impossible to please God" thing was starting to rub me in the wrong way. And then the whole I HATE MUM AND DAD BECAUSE THEY'RE BEING SO NICE TO ME BUT I KNOW DEEP IN THEIR HEARTS THEY'RE REALLY DISAPPOINTED AND THINK IM A GOODFORNOTHING SCUMBAG sets in (holy crap all emo-ity ends here)

AT MUM'S BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION (Read: NOT my celebration) I suddenly return from a plateful of chickenrice/laksa/nasibrani whatever (noooo... we did not celebrate at S11 or something like that, it was Straits Kitchen okayyy!) and to my surprise i see a neat lil package sitting on the table. and then i open it.

The waitress must've thought us absolute aristocrats by the way. Like some uber snob family that gives Ipods to their kids the way Mums give yakults to their kids. Well,whatever. What she doesn't know is that The Mother is Utilitarian to the U. Like everything is earned, not given. Laptop, PAY HALF. Handphone. PAY HALF. and the list goes on...

Just that she suddenly felt the mini epiphany that MAYBE, just MAYBE I wasn't feeling the unconditional love of God, to receive his blessings without earning it... so they decided to give me an IPOD CLASSIC WHICH STORES 20,000 SONGS :) which i think is awesome because I really have a mega phobia of touchscreens now (thanks to U700) so the nice handy dandy ipod is great. (which i've uploaded ANTM cycle 11 vids and Gorgeous tiny chicken machine show youtube vids into!!!)

Anyway, it turns out that I got back my results and I got 117!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Which is freaking awesome. although the examiner says i cldve gotten 120 (merit) if it werent for my nerves (i knew i screwed up BIG TIME when i stopped repeatedly in the first piece, played multiple wrong scales, and told him it was raining outside) .and omg i got full marks for my 2nd Schumann piece Traumerei which is is this emotive romantic dreamy piece that is the bane of my teacher's existence because I'm all stiff and awkward. irony indeed.



Second Exam: Promos!

Which is over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Geog is my miracle. Seriously.
13 phys chps, i studied 3.5? WEATHERING & EARTHQUAKES CAME OUT!!! :)

I slept at like 12 and planned to wake up at 3 to mug human (which was left TOTALLY untouched) and lo and behold the next time I glanced at the clock it was a bleeding 6am!!!!!!! Screams pierce the air as a scarcely sane girl flips frantically through her notes while drinking carrot juice (with barley green + centrium + vitamin C + spirulina tablets + iron/calcium tablet shit... i have a little soya sauce dish with 7 tablets in it every morning)

Before assembly more flipping ensued with Angel Plan, New AP and New New AP being stored into little compartments of my brain at a rate of 1pg/10secs.