I found this phone on the floor.

The day was
was

silent


The day
day was

locked

The
The day was

fullstop.


I HAVE LOST MY PHONE.


Tuesday was a very, very bobo day (THIS WORD WAS OFFICIALLY COINED BY YOURS TRULY IN 2007MARCH, so all ye plagiarists find a substitute!!! I have found it highly disturbing that certain of my classmates namely paul and tiff have taken a liking to it and have sacrilegiously started using it flippantly, tsktsk)

ANYWAY
The deadly combination of Chinese and PW had robbed me of the mental capacity to NOTICE the droppage of items on the floor, the fatal inability of which caused the demise of dearest Phoney and Pinky (not a very nice nor original name to give your phone and phoneclothes respectively..but)

So there I was crossing not the vast red sea but the 5m from the ceremonial staircase to the carpark right outside. and then i tried caling Choong from the HOD room to hand up bleeding I&R (which I caused me a disproportionate amount of distress) but i couldnt get her. so I passed it to some other teacher. and then estelle (bunbun) came and tried to braid my hair unsuccessfully. and mum was bugging me to go to the car so I had one hand on the phone, the other on mylaptop bag.


So i continued talking on Phoney till about 3m to the car. And then I did something with it that i cant quite rmb - put it in my pocket or hand or whatever. but whatever it was, it never left the school...

(violin plays softly in the background as camera zooms in on the desolate, left behind Pinky & his contents, lying forlornly on the ground)

Dinner was wrought. with many other things.
but losing PHONEY nearly made me lose my mind. especially since it was switched off!!!!!!! and especially because I was particularly upset that I could possess such RETARDNESS so as to NOT NOTICE when my hp drops on the floor while transversing long distances of 3meters.

anyway after practically diving under the car carpet three times and tirelessly emptying my obviously empty bagpack, i finally came to terms with the fact that it was really lost lost and not lying under my pile of chinese notes (as it was last time).

The G.O staff probably recognises me by now. I've been repeatedly making trips there every half hour to check if it had made its presence known.

THEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ON THURSDAY MUM RECEIVES AN SMS SAYING:

"I found this phone on the floor."

FROM MY NUMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The world is suddenly full of daisies ponies bunnies and elves frolicking in the meadows and holding tea parties at moonlight.

Mum spams my phone with msgs with a detailed plan on WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU FIND MY DAUGHTER'S PHONE including words such as 'daughter' '1AH' 'please return' 'thank you'.

I call but to no avail.

A tiny part of me wants to believe that humanity (especially those in AC) has a conscience after all and hence the lack of battery and the very unfortunate inability of dear Phoney to charge using a conventional Samsung charger (it needs to be connected to a com via USB to charge for some very very odd reason) probably resulted in such.


However, as the days wear on,
I ONLY HAVE ONE THING TO SAY NOW:

"I found this phone on the floor." RETURN IT NOW DAMNIT says:
argh stupid retard who has my phone. may your brain shrink to walnut size due to the radiation

YOU MAY SAY:
♥jonskies ; boomdiyada says:
HAHA gosh such a spiteful person



INDEED TRUE IT MAY BE SO.
But what disturbs me so about the phrase is the FULLSTOP!
YES.
it means.
that it wasn't a

"omg-i-must-return-this-phone-to-the-owner-let me type a msg to her mother OMG it died on me just as i wrote floor and hence i could not write the fullstop" kind of msg

rather, it was a

"hah-let-thy-mock-thee-mother-with-my-ambiguous-statement and test the waters to see if this phone is worth stealing" message

because of the itsy presense of the darn fullstop!!!!!!!!!

it's too perfect to be unintentional.
It just means that. Whilst the person could
have a million other ways to have contacted me (eg. use the 2 seconds of battery life to scroll the phone book, take down Mum's or Dad's or RandomFriend's number and actually have a 110%better chance of returning it to me, or even sms something like 'call me at xxxxxxxx i have your phone')

BUT THAT LITTLE SCHEMING BOBO DID NOT! ): AND WHO KNOWS WHAT THINGAMINGYS HE (or SHE for that matter. oh i just realised how sexist i sounded throughout the entry:/ but it was out of convenience la) MIGHT DO!!!! LIKE READ MY SECRET MSGS!!!! OR SPAM RANDOM PEOPLE WITH RANDOM MSGS LIKE I LURBXXX EUUUUUZZZ WORHzXZ which would mark the end of my existence!!!! OR LIKE...LIKE...SEE MY SECRET PHOTOS!! AND VIDEOS!!!!! I DONT WANNA BE ANOTHER TAMMY OF NYP!!lol. jkjk.)



Anyway to all caring souls out there who have been bugging me to deactivate my line or whatever not, I AM WAITING TILL MONDAY!

Hopefully on Sunday Mr Fullstop goes to church and gets some sort of moral conviction and repents of his action (PLEASE GOD!!! PRICK HIS CONSCIENCE NO END!). alternatively, if he's a Hindu hopefully Deepavali will convict him of his misdoings as the LIGHT illuminates him (um....or something like that)



And much humiliation and inconvenience has ensued as aresult of Phoney's demise.

Beginning with..........

THE SLIM
okay so today i went to school for chinese remedial thinking, well, fourth day as a cavewoman. Not bad at all, shall show all 'em newspaper articles about youths dying without their hps! I was coping just fine.




BUT NO.
it was not to be.

lao shi said it would be in 6.13 last night, so i decided to just head there. but there was a class there. which made me run aroudn the whole school like a lost camel looking for an oasis (omg poor analogy sorry). i was so desperate i decided to mope around the lobby and wait for people i know to arrive. but how if everyone was there already? suddenly at he corner of my eye appears SLIM.

i know. you DO NOT ask MR.SEC trivial things like that.

but I did anyway.
and he gave me a few dubious glances before calling laoshi.

" NI DE XUE SHENG ZAI WEN NI ZAI NA LI" omg embarrasimus maximus ):


anyway this is going to be a mini tribute to laoshi, MRS LIM SWEE CHAY!

She is about the mostest awesomest (I hereby surrender all forms of grammatical accuracy in the name of my great love for her) chinese teacher that i ever had.

From staying back in school everyday til 7 for remedial,
to coming back today,
to spending tue-wed accompanying us all the way up to THE DAY

WE LOVE YOU LAO SHI!
























Coming up......


HSM3
PW
DAD'S SECRET RETREAT
& THE EVIL Es!