The phrase of the day shall be:
"Procrastination is just like masturbation. You feel good at first..but in the end, you're just screwing yourself"
NOW THAT IS SOMETHING THAT SHOULD DEFINITELY WIN A NOBEL WIT PRIZE.
And from the most unexpected source - WEE JINGYAN, Chinese Pro/The innocent, studious Kung Fu Panda/Non-closet mugger/a closet gideon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT IS JUST... PRO (and a very grim and apt reminder for myself at this moment)
Anyway, I just did something very atypical stick.
I write out the entire list of 'eventful' events that need to be blogged about in my title.
But you can be sure I won't get past Janelle's departure. Hahaha.
I know I could get into a lot of trouble by saying this (plausibly turn millions anorexic or spurn a bullimic cult) BUTBUTBUT it's really a big deal to me and I hope you guys understand...
I PUT ON 6KGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!
.
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..
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..
..
WHOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(HAHAHAHA bet you were expecting some emo;;;;;; suicidal "that's it the diet starts today" comment)
I'M THE HAPPIEST STICK ALIVE (then again, probably the only stick who has the human capability to actually feel happy)
3 years of waiting!!!!!!! My darling 53kg has arrived at last.
Okay so maybe i DID cheat a little...
and yes maybe I did kinda use unscrupulous means to get that needle pointing a little further down.. but IT WAS FOR A GOOD CAUSE OKAY!
Let me breakdown for you the genius of the stick:
1) DRINK WATER LIKE FREEEEEEEE!!!!!!
because... technically,water is free so long as you drink from the cooler and try not to think about the vicious primary school rumour that it is actually recycled..
So joyce the genius, preempting the impending danger of a height-and-weight taking, quickly rushes to the nearest water cooler and gulps down gallons (okay at the most 500ml.. but hey that's 0.5kg!!!.. i was just wondering.. if you took in 1litre of water and weighed yourself straight after, does that mean you'll be 1kg heavier? or will the water kinda assimilate and balance itself out and somehow not affect your mass? but that doesn't really make sense..)
2) LEARN FROM THE 'MISTAKES' OF OTHERS
Paul was weighing himself when he discovered -gasp- that he put on a disproportionately great amount of weight. Then he glances at his hand and realises he has been holding on to his phone and wallet. So he puts them aside...
At the same time which a stroke of inspiration struck stick. Stick quickly grabs onto the wallet and hp.. (putting them clandestinely in her pocket..)
3) HAVE A LARGE GROUP OF SUPPORTERS!!
Fellow supporters in her cause to avoid the 'DRINK MORE MILK OR ELSE'matronly nurses who come to health checks empty handed and return to the hospitals triamphantly armed with a bunch of seemingly eating disorder-plagued teenage girls such as gid graciously lend her his heavy metallic watch.
Stick, fully armed and loaded, goes onboard...
AND JUMPS FROM A MERE 47 TO 53!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is beyond her wildest dreams. stick jumps with glee.
PE teacher (taking down the weight): so you're 58kg now.
Stick: HARH!?!?! whaaaaaaaaaat, but i saw 53...
PE teacher: no it's 58..
stick: cannot be!!!!!!!!!! (steps on scale again)
The next day on the news: ACJC PE teacher, poked to death, weapon of murder = murderer.
Invest rehearsals
Been staying back the past week til approx. 930 each night.
I'm seriously going to start unconsciously saying "ready one two three" before I sit and stand up... and "one thousand up" before I raise my hands...
14 JULY PEOPLE COMECOMECOME!
Janelle's departure:
CAPTAIN OH CAPTAIN!
you have left us to drown in the miserable sea of PW
the MANATEE has lost its navigator.
It's direction in life.
It's fallen out of LOVE.
It can no longer swim..
one WONDERS how long it can survive..
(paul if you're reading this - IT'S A PRETTY GOOD ATTEMPT, YOU HAVE TO ADMIT!)
A TRIBUTE TO THE DEAR NELLY! (this is supposed to make you regret every single day that you of your life in oregon hahhaha. kidding)
I LOVE YOU!
Lol just another one of yeehwee's idiosyncratic expressions! which never fails to amuse me!! (AND PAUL THAT IMITATION WAS JUST BAD!!!! YOU PHAIL!)
I thought them amateurs the art of CHUBBY BUNNY... ALEX IS LIKE WTF I CANT WATCH.. 
I love you people!
Le Vu and his Library Club t-shirt + astro boy imitation = VERY,VERY,VERY DISTASTEFUL. I have nothing else to say.
BECKY + STICK'S KICK = one rolling ball of lard.
I will seriously miss your presence in AH and as captain of the Manatee Love Wonder!
I still remember when we both entered Ah in PAE..
we were lost, afraid and appalled by its intimidating giants... (such as you know..)
but we've made it this far,
through geog tuts, KSL, lit lessons, stoning around the round tables in the canteen sessions,
crapping around with bimbo paul,
you refusing to join the bimbo club althogh you very well know you belong in there (with your very apt bimbotic actions/sayings which you attempt to hide BUT i take note of hahaha)
anyway, all the best in oregon!!! TELL ME HOW'S JOURNALISM OKAY!!! (i've always srsly considered it as a career path but I kinda need a guinea pig to help me test the waters LOL)
break out of your closet and become a real secret havoc!!!!!!!!
(take lots of scandalous pictures and send them to us okay!!!! WE HAVE TO MAKE SEAN REGRET NO RUNNING TO THE AIRPORT KOREAN DRAMA STYLE AND STANDING IN FRONT OF THE PLANE) hahaha. "SEANIE"
LOVE YOU ALWAYS!
Term Exam Results
shall not be spoken about as they are gay beyond words.
But overall, I'm glad (yet feeling a great sense of justmissedness) about Bio and Lit =)
Chinese... U should know how much I got (it's pretty obvious)
oh well. Time to dig back to my gens.
PW
EOM IS KILLING ME.
-continues eating Reese's buttercups- ILIKE.
Asean Ministerial Meeting Student attachment
WONT BE IN SCH FROM 14-24th.
If I calculated correctly, a whopping $140 should be mine by the end of next thurs !!!
(and so would a whopping pile of hw and tutorials from missing school for 8 days)
oh gosh amazing I did manage to cover most of the stuff I wanted to blog about. But not as in detailed as I would've liked (i could probably write a novel on how I picked my nose, for example.. but let's not go there)
(oh.. and for the sake of a particular pedantic reader.. I have discovered the little tick with the ABC above it right next to the Upload Images button that does wonders to my spelling... so hah)
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